It is hard enough to learn and experiences things on your own that you realize with your own eyes that your trip in the world you can't believe that you live in. There are many things in life, I think I wish I wasn't born in the time to see it. I never had a dad to love me as a daughter. Always think taking out his anger on me will work every time when he get piss when he comes home. Am I always the person that everyone can scold on? Does anyone see I have feeling to like a human being ? I guess people don't!
What I wish in life, to become someone successful. I never did. Just another failure. Just like waking up to a shattered into pieces just like there are a billion pieces of stars in the galaxy.
Wanted to become something in life to help the societies, but what can I do now? I can't finish high school until next year, 2Nd semester coming back to finish my super senior year. I can't graduate like everyone else in this June and can't take the regents. Sometimes I feel so useless that last year I had my chance to fix my grades but this year I mess up so horribly. What kind of person I am? I am in my 4 months and a few days. I'm still thinking for a name for the baby before it comes out. What the use? A mother can't support its baby.
Everyone always yelling me this and that. What can I do? I just take what everyone said to me and keep it. I just look down on myself. Maybe what everyone said is right and I am wrong. So much negative things going through my head. Being having extremely dizziness headaches for days and sick for days. When will it all end? When will my life be back to normal? I don't want to someone to yell at everyday. I just want to live my life as I dreamed of. But I guess I never have that. It is like a lightening bug trapped in a jar with a few air holes to breath in and later vanish without a few minutes. What is irony that is how I live my life everyday. It doesn't matter or it does? I just don't know what to do and think sometimes.
Shammy Zhen Fung
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