Facing The Reality

Wow, its been a long time I ever updated a blog, never tho I will again since last time. I think things thru and I'm done with this. It was wrong with me to fall in love with him in the first place last year, got pregnant, wanting to keep the baby badly, and marrying him. Worst part all of this, he think I'm an outsider and never let me in his heart. You know what, you should be happy because of today, I will never again be the same and 2013 I'm ready. I will not risk no more love for that person, he hurted me so much that I couldn't imagine. I will all I could. I'm stupid enough to give my education, my career and my future on hold just to have his baby and be with him. I let down everything I loved and my goals for the future. My dreams disappear and just to be with him. All he do is yell at me, and all I can do is take it from him. But what if that is all I can that? I will never be good enough. I always feel myself I was nothing. Now I felt I was wrong , is my love for him grew more painful and hurt everyday, and all he can do is yell at me. What more do you want from me? I'm trying my best and he doesn't treat me like a wife but an outsider that hurt the most. I guess this is it. This is my final answer, you got what you want. Even it hurts to do this and let it all go and go my own way and he goes his own way. This has to be done. Any more further it will get worst. I guess I have to ignore him till 2013. I guess it is for the best. I will never risk for relationship or love again. He always think im flirting this shyt and that, which is not. I guess he wont understand why I work so hard, what I pushed myself to the limit that I couldn't take it anymore and I still keep going on and on. Well, I should say goodbye when I get the chance on 2013.